WordPress Writing Prompt: Ying to My Yang
How do you define the term “soulmate,” and do you believe in the existence of such a person — for you?
I know the common definitions of soulmate mostly revolve around romantic relationships. That in some time gone by one entity was split in two and they each searched until they found one other. I have lived quite a number of years now and upon contemplation of this prompt have decided soulmates come in many forms: lover, friend, former spouse. Yes, that’s what I said, former spouse. I’ll start there.
My former husband (not ex–because he’s not an ex) of almost 30 years is still a soulmate for me. Two years ago when I got very sick, life-threatening sick he stepped up like no one else in my life. He went to my diagnosis appointment with me when my leukemia was confirmed. He went with me when I was immediately admitted to the hospital. He joined me in many decision-making appointments when I faced whether to have a stem-cell transplant. He was my consultant regarding medical power of attorney. He is the executor of my will. And he visited over the many weeks I was hospitalized. One would say that’s a lot. But I was the lucky beneficiary of his financial assistance as well–he provided loan funds for all of my expenses not covered by insurance. All these things are behaviors that come with love. No, not a romantic love. Something far and away much more. I know there are couples who have crumbled under these circumstances. I am forever grateful to him for standing by me this way. All this while he has a second family of his own.
You might ask why he did this. My assessment is simple, he cares. AND he has been in my life all these years for a reason. He knows me better than anyone. We may not have be able to make a marriage work, but our love for one another is clear. We have two grown sons and our focus for many of those years was to raise them the best we could–together out of two households. To teach our sons that we both love them enough not to fight with each other.
Next, some friends can be soulmates. No, these relationships tend not to be romantic and certainly not sexual, but they last over time. It is these that connect through the soul. My friend, Jill, took my sweet puppy dog for a total of my 10 weeks in the hospital. That time was spread over months and every time I needed her she was there. Mind you, she too has a family of her own. Husband, two children, and a dog. But Kobi was welcome and very well taken care of. That removed any worry and concern for me while I fought the cancer battle.
In addition, I had many friends who stepped up to the plate and took care of things as I recovered. They visited me when I needed uplifting in the hospital and brought me things I needed there. Sometimes they even surprised me with unexpected gifts. They cleaned my house, made my meals, or simply stayed with me during a three month period post stem-cell transplant. None of them ever asked for a thing. They gave from the heart. And I benefited immeasurably.
That leaves me with lover. The older I get the definition of that word changes. Most would think of lover in the context of sex. Not as important to me anymore as companionship. I don’t have a lover currently, but I’m also not too old to remember what it’s like to have one. One day, maybe–I’ll be lucky there too.
So, do I believe there is a soulmate or soulmates for me? Absolutely! I have proof.